Cheltenham Group 2/12/10 - Negative Emotions

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Rumpelteazer
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Cheltenham Group 2/12/10 - Negative Emotions

Postby Rumpelteazer » Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:42 pm

Cheltenham Group meeting - 2/12/2010
This topic was chosen by the meeting taker because it had cropped up several times in recent meetings and generated several questions. But despite, or perhaps because of the subject matter, this was a happy, lively meeting with fun and laughter as well as serious discussion.
Dr Roles wrote:So let’s adopt Mr. Ouspensky’s advice that because negative emotions are so quick that we can’t block or stop or change the emotions themselves, but we can stop their expression, we can stop looking or speaking negatively.

When Ouspensky talked about stopping expression of negative emotions what did he mean – it’s not possible to stop thoughts expressing themselves in the mind? Or is it more about outward expression? It was generally thought that the idea was to stop outward expression, but that this was not just words – it could be facial expression, tone of voice, body language. Some people really enjoy being miserable and are negative most of the time. They go around with a miserable expression and the corners of their mouths turned down.

The weather is a favourite source of negative emotion. But for the most part, it doesn’t actually affect us – it’s just weather. Some people want to get others to join in their negative emotion and get worked up about disasters and injustices that are in the news. We need to steer clear of this.

As two members of the group had experienced recently, if someone is getting angry with you it can be very difficult not to get caught up in it and say things that you regret. We need to try to remember that there is something else that we want more. A third group member recounted how he had been involved in a situation where it would have been very easy to get angry with a couple of musicians who were behaving badly. But he just accepted the situation as it was, stayed calm and relaxed and saw it as an opportunity.

Mr Ouspensky wrote:If negative emotions were useful or necessary for any, even the smallest purpose, and if they were a function of a really existing part of the emotional centre, man would have no chance because no inner development is possible so long as man keeps his negative emotions.

So where do negative emotions come from? One person explained that, according to Ouspensky, most came from the lower three centres. We can often see parallels with animal behaviour – fear of predators or other dangers, the need to protect territory and thus the supply of food, rivalry over a mate, defence of the sheltered place where they sleep, the need to protect young in the nest. But what about when someone loses their job – how does that relate to instinctive centre? One person had lost her job several times – in one case her house was at risk. This had clear parallels with animal behaviour. A relative of one group member had recently retired and felt depressed because he didn’t know what to do with his life. His job was his identity.

When you are looking for a job, this can also be very depressing. You keep on writing hundreds of letters and keep getting rejected. Then when you get a job you take it for granted, and even start moaning about it. But there are some people who keep trying and never get a job – how can they avoid being negative? Someone replied that we should not be considering other people’s emotions – we can only know about our own. The person may not really have wanted a job.
H.H. wrote:If anger was necessary for that moment let there be anger, and let the situation be transformed even by anger, but under no circumstances, whether transformation takes place or not, should anger be allowed to live in the heart of a man who is looking for transformation.

An example was quoted of when Dr Roles was in a car with someone and said “I’ve just got to go back to the house for something”. When they arrived back at Dr Roles’ house, he got out and went into the house and sounds of shouting and anger were heard. Dr Roles’ emerged from the house, got back in the car and resumed his original conversation perfectly calmly. When asked about the shouting, he said “That was nothing - I just had to deal with the builders.” A teacher remarked that schoolchildren sometimes need dealing with in a similar way. Someone pointed out that the relatives of murder victims often hang onto their negative emotions for many years or even decades. They seem to require the body of their loved one, or at least part of it, before they can let go of this feeling. But that’s not rational – it is just a body. It comes from identification with the body.
H.H. wrote:As regards the concept of pain – there are people in this world who are adventurous, and who take great pleasure in going through all the difficulties and hazards of the adventure which are sometimes painful. These men never experience the pain – they do experience the hardness of what they have to go through, but not of pain at all. Pain does not exist for them – the word is “Tapas” – when one allows oneself, one’s body and mind to go through a difficult passage – and yet one does not seem to feel the difficulties because one has taken them on voluntarily – these difficulties then create deeper happiness.

Someone remarked that almost all sports involve physical pain when done at a high level, but sports are actually very popular. Another person said he thought the Work sometimes involved pain because one had to face up to and deal with characteristics that are unpleasant or unattractive, but that this did lead to greater happiness. Ouspensky said we should “give up our suffering”.
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